13. The Mist

An exercise in self control, The Mist crowds your ocular receptacles with a shopping center full of idiots and assholes for two hours, daring you to shut it off for lack of being able to handle the bullshit anymore. It's a study of the flock mentality versus logically solving problems in a place where there's no escape and you're forced to deal with the situations in front of you. And secondary to all of that, there's giant fucking bug monsters that want nothing more that to om nom nom on chunks of your flesh and tear you in half at the waist. But that's secondary.

The Mist follows David Drayton (Tom FUCKING Jane) and his son into the afore mentioned shopping center full of idiots and assholes, but when a strange mist rolls through the town, the customers are trapped with nothing to do but go crazy and be foolish about everything. Drayton is the voice of reason against a lawyer who just can't accept that there's a giant, tentacle wielding monster outside, and a crazy Jesus freak who is sure that the monsters are there to bring about the end of days. In a relatively short time the relatively small amount of people manage to split into warring factions causing fights, murders, and even a sacrifice to the so-called biblical beasts lurking in the mist.

I can't even begin to explain to you how awful Mrs. Carmody is. This is by far the most hateable character to have ever stepped foot on screen. Rapists are more amiable than her. Played maybe a little too well by Marcia Gay Harden, Mrs. Carmody is the wooden spoon in the volatile melting pot of personalities stuck in the town store, strirring up controversy wherever she may find it. Endlessly preaching "the word of God" whether people want to hear it or not, when people start losing their minds, they turn to the one who has already lost her own mind, Mrs. Carmody. The end result is a dangerous mob of townies with the cult mentality of "THEY'RE DIFFERENT! LET'S KILL EM!" Mrs. Carmody is the definition of insane. I don't know if it was Frank Darabont's plan to have her turn me so far away from organized religion, but she did. She makes the movie a complete struggle to get through, but seeing an old lady pitch a can of soup at her head and scream "Stoning people who piss you off is perfectly OK! They do it in the bible don't they?!" is wonderful, and her final comeuppance makes every second of your time dealing with her worth the trouble.

The first time I saw this I caught the theatrical version which I don't think is any different than the version I rewatched last night beyond the fact that this DVD was they way the director intended it to be viewed, in black and white. Eventually I didn't even notice anymore. It just looked like a horror movie filmed as if it were film noir, making the darks darker and the CGI effects blend a little better. I enjoyed watching this version, but it was filmed like a modern day film would have been; very kinetic, quick cuts, and very clean, meaning that the footage wasn't weathered or aged at all. Not that this all was bad, it's just not something you're used to seeing so it's a bit jarring at first, kind of shocking you out of the movie where you realize that you're watching a movie made in the 2000s and not the 40s.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the totally LOL-worthy ending. Never would I give away to you just what happens, but it's impossible to not laugh. Two events take place. After event number one, already the ending would have been great. It's shocking, emotional, and incredibly thought provoking. Had the credits rolled then, no LOLs would be had, but we still would have had a great ending. But no, seconds later the next event happens which had me involuntarily yell, "OMG OWNED!" the first time I sat through it. No bigger nail has ever been hammered into a coffin. And then the credits roll.

Suffering through Mrs. Carmody is a tough battle to win, but aside from her and the fact that clearly no one in the store had ever seen Jurassic Park, the movie is great. It's a brilliant study of people, and not just a pile of blood and guts. The Mist isn't something that you'll be able to make yourself watch very often, but every now and then you'll put it in and remember that the true horror isn't the monsters, it's human nature.

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